U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
