It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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