he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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