Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
