Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
