u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
