tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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