:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
