We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
