Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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