she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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