He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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