I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He better not be in your backpack
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
