I don't usually arrange sex via text message
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
