So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
