Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
