i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
This toilet bowl is my home.
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