Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
