so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
