wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
