I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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