He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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