I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
