Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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