Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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