You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
