Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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