FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
