My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
