pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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