just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
