oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
