butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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