she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Barsexuality is the new black.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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