tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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