If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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