He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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