I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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