She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
