You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
