Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
