Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
