I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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