and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
