girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize