Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
