whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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