And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
