zippers are such a cool invention
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
