'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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