I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
