May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We got so high we made milksteak
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
