Whod you bang
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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