I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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