so explain again why im purple
no
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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