how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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