Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
