for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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