I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize