Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
