lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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