I hate all girls vehemently.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
